Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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