break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
