Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
