he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
