Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
And then my night got REAL pukey
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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