Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
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