i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
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