u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Randomize
