his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
