Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
