these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
