Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
