no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
