At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
