Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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