I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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