Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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