So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
