Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
i need some magic done to my vagina
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Randomize
