last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
