this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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