we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
