Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
