i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
