Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Drunk is not a location!
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize