Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
