it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
