Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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