It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
