Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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