I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
