I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
