Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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