I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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