i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
