you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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