YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
