What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
