I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Randomize
