I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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