Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
