wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
