Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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