Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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