yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize