You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I just blew my weed a kiss
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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