Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Randomize