Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
thus making me awesome and them whores
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
