can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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