u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
worst night to have a conscience
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Randomize