I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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