all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
