I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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