i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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