Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
