I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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