just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Randomize
