um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
