That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
