My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
