Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
This is my gift to your gina
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Randomize
