His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
