She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
