last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
