My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
