Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
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