can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
It's blow job season.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
