i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Randomize
