Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
