Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
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