I hate your face
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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