it wasn't lemon gatorade
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize