It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
