I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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