I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
did you just send me my own nude
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize