Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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