I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize